Today's Special
Firefly Funeral Pyre
Created in honour of Duke Hotaru of Silmarithil
20 gold
Caramelized pear halves stuffed with honeyed ricotta, candied ginger, and crushed pistachios, served on a bronze mirror-polished plate. Drizzled tableside with cognac infused with saffron and edible gold flakes, then set ablaze. The gold sparks like fireflies in copper-orange flame. Best enjoyed still flaming.
Complimentary Bread Service
Free with any entrée · 4 gold if ordered alone
Myconid Spores
The bread basket
Warm artisan bread in a cloth-lined basket, dusted in a manner that is deeply unsettling. Cloud-soft inside with a perfectly crispy crust, baked fresh throughout the day. Varieties rotate: rosemary focaccia, honey oat rolls, charcoal-dusted sourdough. Served with your choice of three compound butters.
Wraith's Whisper
Herb & Sea Salt. Pale, translucent butter with thyme, rosemary, chives, and black volcanic salt. Ethereal.
Succubus Seduction
Honey, Cinnamon & Orange Zest. Wildflower honey, Vietnamese cinnamon, fresh orange. Dangerously addictive.
Dragon's Hoard
Black Truffle & Gold Leaf. Studded with truffle and actual edible gold leaf. Looks like buried treasure.
Small Bites
To share or hoard. We don't judge.
Signature · Queen's Favourite
Goblin Snot
8 gold
Apple-cinnamon pudding with a velvety texture that melts on the tongue. Served in a crystal bowl with a mischievous green shimmer. Our signature dish and personal favourite of Her Majesty, Queen Arties.
Troll Scabs
12 gold
Crispy phyllo pastry filled with warm honeyed cheese and herbs, topped with edible gold leaf. Pairs beautifully with Ogre Sweat.
Hag's Toenails
10 gold
Delicate almond cookies with a honey glaze and crushed pistachios, served on a bed of edible flowers. Far more elegant than the name suggests, darling.
Basilisk Dandruff
14 gold
Parmesan crisps with truffle oil and crystallized rosemary. They shimmer slightly in candlelight. We're not entirely sure why.
/span>Dragon Dung
16 gold
Rich dark chocolate truffles rolled in cocoa powder and sea salt. Intensely decadent. Duke Karthos once ate twelve in one sitting. We were impressed and concerned.
Soups & Salads
Yes, we have those too.
Medusa's Bathwater
15 gold
Creamy butternut squash soup with sage, served in a shallow bowl with a swirl of cream that resembles… well, you'll see. Comes with fresh-baked bread.
Pixie Vomit
18 gold
Ethereal elderflower soufflé that jiggles delightfully when served. Light, airy, with notes of honey and citrus. Must be enjoyed immediately while still "jiggly."
Wyvern Mucus
14 gold
Cold cucumber soup with mint and yogurt. Refreshing, despite everything the name implies. Served in a frosted glass.
Harpy's Nest
16 gold
Mixed greens with candied walnuts, dried cranberries, goat cheese, and a champagne vinaigrette. Artfully arranged to look like an actual nest. No eggs.
Chimera Spit
17 gold
Three-part soup served in a divided bowl: tomato bisque, wild mushroom, and roasted red pepper. Each section represents a different "head." Clever, no?
Entrées
The main event, as it were.
Manticore Afterbirth
28 gold
Slow-braised short ribs in a red wine reduction with root vegetables. Falls off the bone. The name keeps most people away, which means more for those with refined palates.
Cockatrice Placenta
32 gold
Pan-seared duck breast with a cherry glaze, served over wild rice with seasonal vegetables. Cooked to absolute perfection, or I start over.
Vegetarian
Beholder's Eyeball
30 gold
Whole roasted portobello mushroom stuffed with herbed goat cheese, sundried tomatoes, and spinach. For our vegetarian friends who still want to be uncomfortable.
Kraken Boils
35 gold
Pan-fried gnocchi with brown butter sage sauce, topped with parmesan. Light, pillowy, absolutely divine. Yes, they look like boils. That's the point.
Owlbear Intestines
34 gold
Handmade pasta ribbons in a truffle cream sauce with wild mushrooms and prosciutto. The pasta is dyed a natural gray-purple from activated charcoal. Tastes far better than it sounds.
Rust Monster Discharge
30 gold
Miso-glazed salmon with a rust-colored reduction (paprika and tomato, not actual rust) served with jasmine rice and bok choy. The color is deliberate and unsettling.
Gelatinous Cube
26 gold
Perfectly seared ahi tuna, served as geometric cubes on a bed of seaweed salad with a ginger-soy glaze. Presentation is everything, darling.
Spiciest Dish
The Tarrasque's Breath
40 gold
Slow-cooked lamb curry with ghost peppers and fire-roasted vegetables. This is what I made for Duke Karthos. He cried, happy tears, he insists. Served with cooling yogurt on the side.
Sides
Because even monstrosities need accompaniment.
Kobold Earwax
6 gold
Garlic mashed potatoes with butter and chives. Smooth, creamy, dangerously addictive.
Aboleth Slime
7 gold
Creamed spinach with nutmeg. Rich and velvety.
Mind Flayer Brain
8 gold
Roasted cauliflower with parmesan and herbs, served whole and looking disturbingly brain-like.
Stirge Sucker
6 gold
Grilled asparagus with lemon butter.
Desserts
Saved the best names for last.
Werewolf Hairball
12 gold
Coconut macaroons with dark chocolate drizzle. They're fuzzy. It's weird. They're delicious.
Vampire Scab
14 gold
Chocolate lava cake with raspberry coulis. When you cut into it, the "blood" flows out. Dramatic and decadent.
Lich Dust
10 gold
Lemon bars dusted heavily with powdered sugar. Light, tart, refined. The powder gets everywhere, much like… well, you understand.
Zombie Rot
13 gold
Tiramisu with coffee liqueur and cocoa powder. Layers that "decay" visually into each other. Morbid. Magnificent.
Demon Pox
11 gold
Mini cream puffs filled with vanilla custard, topped with berry compote that looks suspiciously pustule-like. I'm very proud of these.
Serves 2
The Fermenting Corpse
16 gold
Bread pudding with rum-soaked raisins and caramel sauce, served warm. It steams when it arrives, looking like exactly what the name suggests. Tastes like heaven.
Libations
Alcoholic
Ogre Sweat
5 gold
Sparkling peach nectar wine. Light, refreshing, dangerously easy to drink.
Minotaur Milk
6 gold
White chocolate liqueur with cream. Served in a horn-shaped glass because I commit to the bit.
Succubus Kiss
8 gold
Pomegranate wine with a sugared rim. Sweet, seductive, leaves your lips stained red.
Drow Poison
9 gold
Purple wine infused with lavender and blackberry. Absolutely not poisonous, but the name keeps you on your toes.
Large Format
Giant's Bladder
7 gold
House ale, served in an absolutely enormous mug. Good luck finishing it.
The Prismatic Spray
12 gold
Seven layered shots representing different colors of magic. Take them in order or chaos ensues. Actually, chaos ensues either way.
Non-Alcoholic
Pixie Tears
4 gold
Sparkling lemonade with elderflower, served with an edible flower frozen into an ice cube.
Unicorn Blood
5 gold
Strawberry-rhubarb juice with a shimmer of edible glitter. Tastes innocent. Looks guilty.
Displacer Milk
4 gold
Lavender honey milk tea. Warm and comforting. The cup appears to be in two places at once due to the mirror placement on the table.
Blink Dog Drool
3 gold
Iced mint tea. Refreshing and simple.
Phase Spider Silk
6 gold
Cotton candy dissolved into hot white chocolate. It creates beautiful, silky threads as you stir.